Couples Therapy Intensive

 
 

Imagine having a relationship where you feel:

  • Appreciated, Admired, Respected and Honored by your partner

  • Safe in having conflict and in sharing vulnerabilities

  • Trust that you are accepted and loved, flaws and all

  • Joyful in moments within your marriage and life with relative frequency

  • Empowered to work on your marriage with research-based tools because you have increased both your capacity and desire to do so

  • Supported in your dreams and celebrated in your achievements

Sounds amazing, right? Feels impossible too, right?

By working with me on Maui, you can gain all the skills to begin to create a relationship that has all of those amazing aspects listed above in it!

A more connected relationship is possible, but it does not just happen because you got married (committed). The reality is, marriage takes a lot of intentional effort for it to feel purposeful and quite frankly, worth it. We are kinda delusional about in this aspect of marriage in the beginning, because giving your relationship energy and effort while dating is fun and it is what we do. That view often changes once rings and legal documents get involved.

How do we get a more intentional and purposeful marriage you ask?

One way to do this is to invest both time and money into your relationship. That could be couples counseling, a yearly vacation with just the two of you, date nights, or, attend my Couples Therapy Intensive, Connection with Intention. Working with a therapist like myself, who is skilled and trained in couples therapy, will help you cut through process-oriented conflicts (fights about how you have fights) and get straight to the actual feelings and issues. By spending this intensive amount of time working solely on your marriage, you feel more connected, committed, and energized. You will also leave with a plan for your marriage, a plan that maps out the purpose and intention. I would love to be able to help you find the purpose in your marriage!

 

invest in your relationship

Why the intensive and not just talk therapy?

Great question. I have been doing in person talk therapy for 12 years. I typically see clients on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Over the last 12 years, I have seen just how little an hour of time actually is, especially when dealing with trauma or with a person who struggles with regulating their emotions. When much of the time is spent helping the dis-regulated person self sooth physiologically so that they can stay in the therapeutic process, then we are not able to actually dive into the issues the marriage is experiencing. I also spend a lot of time helping the couple come back to the issue vs going into process (fighting over how you fight). All of this takes time, and sadly I have seen many feelings left on the therapy room floor. What is worse, is that the couple does not talk about the session again (at least not with much intention). They go back to their lives and the stressors that are helping to create tension, tones and tears. So when I see them again, little to no processing went into the feelings that came up the week before and we are usually at square 1. This does not make for change that is quick, and people love things to change quickly. So couples get frustrated and stop coming in for therapy, because “therapy does not work”. 

The intensive is meant to create a situation where you are 100 % focused on your marriage and your partner. I will ask you to also focus on your role in your marriage and in your collective life. Doing so with Maui as the backdrop adds to the healing and restorative needs of your marriage. Investing the time and money into this incredible experience will provide you with super rad returns. The main one being, feeling a sense of connection again, while also co-creating a marriage with purpose, intention and joy.

  • How It Works: Set Up/Cost

    In order for us to hit the ground running when you arrive on Maui, I will need to gather some information from each of you first. I will send out a few different questionnaires and will schedule a one hour individual session with each of you so that I can better understand your goals and your beliefs about the marriage and how you show up in it. This is included in the cost of the intensive.

    Cost for the 4 day intensive (16 hours ish) of intensive couples therapy is $5600. Current or former clients, Kama’aina and Military receive 10% off.

  • Where do we meet?

    Where do we meet?

    My office is located on the famous Baldwin Avenue, right in the heart of the Makawao Courtyard in Upcountry Maui. This is a special and historic location that holds deep significance for Maui and its residents. For those who might not be familiar, Makawao is a charming upcountry town known for its artistic community, unique boutiques, and vibrant culture. It truly is a gem on the island. The street is lined with food options for the lunch breaks we will take during the day.

  • Schedule

    While we will have a structure to the intensive, I want us to create the schedule together. We will meet M/T/Th/F from 10am until 3pm. Wednesdays are taken off for you as a couple to explore and connect by having fun. Each day will be spent digging into the themes of your conflict, uncovering any hidden dreams that have been getting stuck in your conflict, and dealing with real, in the moment negative communication patterns that I see and call out. I will also give you an alternative tool to use when I call out the negative one. As we dig in, process and begin to find trust through validation, we will also begin to make plans to ensure that you do not just go home and leave all the new skills, tools and hopefulness at the front door.

  • Follow Up

    Because of the intense nature of the retreat and then the inevitable come down from re-entering life, you are going to need additional support. I offer a follow up package of one two hour session a month (or a quarter), to check in, get any tool sharpening and check in to be sure that you are following your marriage plan. These sessions are an additional cost, charged at my hourly rate.

  • Can We Come Again?

    100% YES! I think that if a couple could do an intensive at a minimum every other year they would be able to maintain a very high level of relationship satisfaction and be able to stay masters of their relationship year after year.

  • Resistant? Hesitant? Read on ...

    Here is what I know. Many people decide too late to put in the effort needed to maintain a connected, loving marriage. I have seen and felt the panic that comes from one partner when the other partner says it is too late. I also hate hearing from clients that have decided to end their marriage, that if they had given it more time and more energy, they might still be married. I know you have seen those couples who are in their 2nd or 3rd marriages and they have learned through divorce, the importance of giving your marriage time and treating it as a priority.

  • But my job ...

    I am going to ask you to be willing to see your life with more creativity and yourself as more empowered to live the life you want. One of the main reasons that I think couples counseling isn’t successful is because I get a lot of push back and hesitation when I ask either partner to change something in their schedule. I get a lot of, well I can’t, or, but my job, or, once we get through this busy season I will have more time to spend on the marriage. Something has to change, that is what I know for sure. Your willingness to make any needed changes will help each of you see that the marriage is a priority which will help build and maintain trust. While I understand we have to work to make the money, I have found that we, as a society, have placed work and productivity above our own needs and the needs of those we are in relationship with. Let’s change the norm so that work is a part of life, not the thing that competes with our life.

You ready? Let's Go!
 

What else will I get from this intensive?

What I would love you to get out of this intensive is a new way to look at therapy, and what it takes to have a connected and fulfilling relationship. Unfortunately, many couples wait too long to give their marriage attention and effort. This intensive, as amazing as it is, can not save a marriage that has been dying on the vine for years. Not being attached to a result, especially to a result of complete reconciliation will also help in lessening the feeling of hopelessness. You might find that at the end of the intensive, the result that makes sense is to end the relationship. It might also look like a couple that acknowledges the past pain with validation and compassion, and a desire to keep doing therapy past the intensive to try to get the marriage back to a place that feels loving, trusting, and connected.

Marriage is a program of action, one that requires energy, effort, and intention. We need to work on the marriage every single day, even when it feels good and happy. That is actually when working on your marriage is the best. When you feel connected and loving towards your partner, you want to use the tools and put in energy. To speak in terms of the brain, where energy flows, neural firings go.

Finally, I want you to come to Maui so that you can escape the chaos for the calm. Learn tools to help you be more present in your life and your relationship. Sit comfortably in the moment, without fear or worry. While you are here, I want you to put all the toes you have in the sand, doing nothing but being with one another on this beautiful and healing Island!

 

Testimonials

“Beth is not afraid to tell either of us when we have said something that is critical or defensive. That is refreshing in a therapist.”

- Carolyn

“I can tell that Beth really cares about us and our relationship, she pushes us to be better and she acknowledges and celebrates victories that my partner and I do not see.”

- Jane